29 | a mess of help

One the byproducts of my effort to listen to all 251 episodes of Tom Petty’s Buried Treasure radio show by the end of 2025 has been discovering that the Beach Boys were so much more than a surf band. In show 133, Petty featured The Beach Boys track YOU NEED A MESS OF HELP TO STAND ALONE. The title pretty much covers the thesis, but here are the full lyrics just to drive the point home!

I need a breeze blowing softly
To keep my wind vane from standing
I need a whole lot of sunshine
To keep my sundial advancing
I need some soil ‘fore my grass will grow
I need some spark to make my candle glow

Relief I cried, ain’t no shock and jive
I need a mess of help to stand alone

I need a spark by a fire
To stop the cold of my winter
I need a burst of your raindrops
To keep a flow in my river
I need a call for my phone will ring
I need your song for my voice will sing

Please realize I’m not half alive
Without a mess of help to stand alone

She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)

I need the warmth of your smile
To heat my frostbitten sorrow
I need your hand on my shoulder
To lead todays to tomorrows
I need your strength to lock me to the track
I need your trust to bust the things I lack

Belief I cried, ain’t no shock and jive
I need a mess of help to stand alone

She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)

She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)
She don’t know me, she don’t know (she don’t, she don’t, she don’t know)

In Tom Petty’s case, that help came in the form of The Heartbreakers and the countless producers, engineers, and technicians who brought his musical vision to life. One of those Heartbreakers, Mike Campbell, has fronted his own band in the years since Petty’s death. I find it impossible to deny his influence on Petty’s music when listening to the music he has made on his own. In his recent memoir, HEARTBREAKER, Campbell described the decades he spent feeding Petty instrumental tracks. So many of the hits that people think of as Tom Petty songs are, in reality, the result of a collaborative back and forth between Petty and Campbell. But what stood out to me more was a different kind of help Campbell highlighted toward the end of the book.

Other than Marcie [Campbell’s wife], nobody ever made me feel more believed in than Denny Cordell. I didn’t have the confidence when I was starting out to think I was anything special. But I knew, for some reason, Denny thought I was. I didn’t know why or what, but I knew Denny heard something in me, and he made me believe it was there. Enough to go looking for it.

Thousands of songs later later, I am still looking for what Denny Cordell heard in me, all those decades ago, when I was hungry and nobody, with nothing and with nowhere to go. I will always be looking for it, with every song. How my path ever crossed his is too fantastic to even imagine, but I lived the life I have because it did.

When I couldn’t talk, Denny Cordell knew I could write. I never thought I could really do it until he told me I could. Until he told me I should. Until he told me I had to. What a gift to give someone. The belief that they can write. And then, everything they write after. I could never thank him enough.

As much as we prioritize self-confidence and internal belief in sport, sometimes it is someone else’s belief that makes all the difference. Campbell’s story illustrates that perfectly. And what is more impressive to me is that Campbell is crediting the man (i.e., Cordell) who broke his career but also literally left him broke! It took a legal standoff for Tom Petty to break free from that original bad contract, but both Petty and Campbell never wavered in their willingness to credit Cordell for all that came after.

Campbell’s story also reminds me of NBA guard Derrick White, who similarly credits former coach Greg Popovich for what has become of his career.

His big thing with me was telling me I belong and proving to myself that I belong. Every other day he’d come up to me and be like ‘Hey, you belong here.’ It meant a lot.

Spurs Ex Derrick White Reveals ‘Big Thing’ Gregg Popovich Always Told Him

I recently spoke with a first year pro who was self-aware enough to know that he was at his best with coaches who behaved like Cordell and Popovich. He knew that he had a tendency to think negatively or withhold effort over a fear of failure. But he also recognized that he could overcome those tendencies with the support of others. In his case, he is fortunate to be working with a coaching staff who has specifically asked for that sort of information in an effort to better support player development. Hopefully, it helps him learn to believe in himself so he can have the sort of career his ability warrants.

Cristobal Rio-Alamos, Rodrigo Montefusco-Siegmund, Toni Cañete, Joaquín Sotomayor, and Alberto Fernandez-Teruel. 2023. Acute relaxation response induced by Tibetan singing bowl sounds: A randomized controlled trial. European Journal of Investigation in Health, Psychology and Education, 13, 317-330.

summary: Researchers compared the relaxation effects from Tibetan singing bowls (TSB) with both progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) and a control group (CWL) for participants who reported high state anxiety. Tibetan singing bowl sound-based treatment involves metal alloys used by Tibetan monks during meditation, which create a base tone that merges with a series of overtones to produce a continuous relaxing sound. Progressive muscle relaxation instructions required participants to tense and relax muscle groups using a bottom-up procedure (i.e., feet, legs, abdomen, chest, hands, shoulders, neck, face, head). Control group participants remained silent throughout the session. Outcome measures included self-reported anxiety, electroencephalographic activity (EEG), and heart rate variability (HRV). Researchers reported greater psychological and physiological benefits in the TSB participants than in the PMP and CWL participants.

potential application: Progressive muscle relaxation or traditional meditation require a fair amount of effort for participants, so this study makes me think that Tibetan singing bowls might be a lighter lift for athletes looking to relax ahead of competition or even as a recovery tool post-competition. Programs have long welcomed Catholic priests and nuns into the team (e.g., Sister Jean), so I don’t think bringing monks on board would be any different. I also think it would make for an intimidating warm-up if your squad was chopping wood and carrying water instead of running a traditional layup line!

NBA Hall of Famer Vince Carter seems like a great pick for this issue’s spotlight. In addition to a 22-year NBA career, Vince Carter is also an accomplished musician who served as drum major in high school. In other words, he was the one out front of the marching band. But leading a band only works if there is a band to lead, so Carter is a great example of the help needed to stand alone!

Related side note: I had the pleasure of watching the high-school Carter when my hometown St. Louis hosted the 1995 McDonald’s All-American game. Quite a roster when you look back!

And if you have time to kill, check out the full game below…

Brian Wilson often gets the credit for the success of The Beach Boys, but he wasn’t the only Wilson. In my opinion, brothers Carl and Dennis deserve equal recognition. And, even if Brian’s genius may have been at the forefront, it is hard to deny their role in his vision being realized. I wonder how much growing up harmonizing with his brothers influenced Brian’s later songwriting. I wonder how much of what he wrote could only be manifested through his brothers. So for this issue’s lyrical spotlight, I look at something composed by Dennis with lyrics co-written by Carl. I have previously noted my affection for water as a metaphor in an issue of this newsletter, so these lyrics are especially satisfying to include here.

Walkin’ down by the river
Water running through my knees (Ahhh)
River, oh river moves so free (Ahhh)
Oh mighty river endlessly
Oo mighty river
I would love to be like you

dennis wilson RIVER SONG

I kept it extremely literal for this issue and created a playlist of songs related to help or helping. Some of them were already on my radar. Some were not. Check it out and see what you think. And if you have suggestions for songs to add to the mix, drop them in the comments.